Take My Feet...

"Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee." 

This line from a hymn by Francis Havergal has always stirred my heart. I love the adventure that comes from knowing the Lord God-- the adventure of having Him direct my path. I love embracing this wild, beautiful life that God has graciously bestowed upon me by listening and obeying when the Lord says, "...This is the way; walk in it." (Isaiah 30:21).

And now, He is taking my feet on...The World Race!!!

It has been a journey. Each chapter of the story of my life has been leading me towards this time. I look back over the span of years and see so very clearly the Lord's hand--guiding, molding, orchestrating. And yet, how do I convey this beautiful redemption story with words on a page? I know not, but He does.

And so it begins...

I've loved Jesus since I was little. What a blessed childhood I had! Life was good. And it got better when I was introduced to someone something. And then I fell in love with it.

Tae Kwon Do.

Even now, the words stir deep emotion. Here's why: Throughout high school, it was my life. Training, instructing, competing. I was a fighter. I was good. I was obsessed. My aim was the Olympics-- at all costs. No other option. My goal, my way, my glory.

But, it was not His goal. It was not His way. It was not HIS glory.

November 5, 2005. The date is burned in my memory. A few months after training with some of the best coaches in the world. A few weeks after earning an alternate spot on a national team. I went home in the morning to ride my horse. I ended the day with a fractured back and torn muscles/ligaments.

Bedridden, overwhelmed by pain, heartbroken-- I finally took my gaze off of myself and fixed it upon the Lord. And there the beauty began to rise from the ashes. But, more was to come. Months later, the word of God fell upon me clearly: "Are you willing to give up what you love most on this earth for me?"

I said "NO." I battled Him. But, our God is not to be swayed by my feeble attempts to dictate my life. Weary, I told Him, "Fine. Have it Your way."  No, this was not a humble submission to His will. And yet, I still walked into the do-jang and quit Tae Kwon Do. Devastated, brokenhearted, and blinded by tears, I laid it down. At once, the peace of God flowed over me, as I had never felt before. And another chapter of my life began...

The next few years were those of falling in love with Him, of learning to sit at His feet and bask in His presence, of learning who I am in Him, of learning to obey. Beautiful years that, praise Him!, have continued on. My heart began to beat for discipling high school girls, for the work of God occuring in overseas locations. But, my journey with Tae Kwon Do was far from over. The Lord desired to show me the full measure of redemption.

In the summer of 2008, God spoke again and called me back into the Tae Kwon Do world. Tentatively, I followed....and promptly tore my MCL. I went through rehab, was released, and immediately severely sprained my other MCL (see a recurring theme here? Why yes, it's injuries.) On a whim, I competed at an elite tournament after being out for three years, with minimal training (three months, in fact), and two bad knees. I did well--very well. Now, there was absolutely NOTHING about me that could have accomplished that. At the same tournament, I had a conversation which led to me sharing Christ with one of my competitors. And then, clarity hit and I was overwhelmed by the blessing I just realized that God had bestowed upon me.

He took something that I had previously made about me, and He redeemed it and made it His!

It's just what He does.

Oh, what a wonderful next year and half I lived! Living my earthly dream, letting Him use it bring glory to His Name. And then, one day, He called me onwards. Instead of fighting Him, as I did previously, I submitted. And while, it broke my heart all over again to quit, there was no hesitation. I no longer wanted to live a life consumed with my goals, obsessed with my glory. I no longer wanted to live without Him.

It's been two years now, and I miss it just as much as did on the day I gave it up. But, He is faithful and GOOD! He has affirmed over and over the decision. It started as soon as I sat down to have the conversation and has continued ever since. Immediately upon quitting, the Lord spoke and called me to Guatemala  to spend two weeks in Antigua at a YWAM mission base- something that would have been impossible for me to do had I still been in the midst of training.

It was there that I felt the call for a future in missions work-- as soon as I stepped off the plane.
It was there that I was first introduced to The World Race.
It was there that "Here am I! Send me! (wherever that may be)" became the prayer of my life.

The story has continued on since that time. I was in period of waiting upon the Lord for almost two years. But now, He is saying "GO!" So, my only response can be:

"Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee."

.sprained ankles & renewed perspectives.

It's been one month and I am still processing the adventure that was Sweden. Since it was a ground-breaking trip, focused on relationship- & partnership- building, we knew we would encounter opposition.

Little did we know...

From the very moment of our arrival, the enemy attempted to disable us, to discourage us, to render us paralyzed in self-focused feelings. As a team, we encountered an unexpected arrival leading to a surprise 8 hour wait in the Stockholm airport, a 6 hour cramped car ride, and feelings of insecurity about our ability to help. Individually, we each battled something that cut to the core of our being.

The second day there, I severely sprained my ankle.

It was a blow to my heart. Doubt & frustration flooded in, followed by an unsettling darkness. I found myself sitting on my bunk -alone-, icing my ankle, eating granola bars, and wishing I could fast-forward to the end of the week. I opened up my journal to complain and this is what flowed forth:

"I planned on starting this journal entry, 'I'm frustrated.' But, when I
was flipping through to find my page, all I saw was my last entry--'May He become greater and I become less.' My whole attitude changed in an instant. What I had seen as an irritant -a frustration- I now see as an event that has passed through God's hands-- an event He will use for His glory. Satan has attempted to disable me, to weaken me through the negative thoughts he placed in my head. But, our God is GREATER! And while I initially struggled with the thought that 'I'm no longer of use here at this fitness camp. My ministry is hindered.', I've realized that the Lord is NEVER to be hindered and He WILL use me in whatever state I am, in whatever way He sees fit."

My gaze was refocused on Christ.

Details of the week blur in comparison to the overarching awe that I feel of the God we serve. Earthly speaking, our goals were accomplished--a partnership was formed and our fitness classes were successes. But, it was so much more than that. Encouragement and blessings abounded as God was glorified.

And so, the prayer resounds lounder:"He must become greater; I must become less." [John 3:30]

He is taking my feet to...

.Sweden.!!!

Come July, I will traveling to Sweden with a team from SECC. We will be partnering with an organization known as Sport for Life as we assist in the running of a fitness/sports camp for Swedish youth.

More details to come as they are finalized.

Isaiah 6:8

.adventure.

A little fact about me?

I love adventure.

Just hearing the word makes my heart leap. It's alluring. It's enchanting. It's...almost elusive.

...or so many think. They dream of adventure. They long for it. But, in their minds, adventure is still just pirates and princesses, heros and villains, "far-off lands, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!"

Now, I'm all about that type of adventure. And I'm just like Belle, wanting "adventure in the great wide somewhere." (Two Disney quotes already? It's a good day.)  But, here's the thing I believe about adventure.

Down the street or in another country, adventure is EVERYWHERE!

It's about embracing this wild, beautiful life that God has graciously bestowed upon me. And so...adventure is...

.dancing in the rain.
.making a new friend.
.laughing with exuberance.
.running as fast as I can.
.dreaming.
.traveling.
.soaking in the sunshine.
.spending time with those I love.


And that is just the beginning.
But, let me say something else.

This type of adventure is fleeting.

True adventure is about surrendering to Yahweh...completely... remembering that He is the very breath I breathe.
It's about listening to the Lord say "This is the way; walk in it." (Isaiah 30:21). Every. Single. Moment.
It's living in His love. Then pouring that love out onto the lost, hurting, and broken world around me.


I will never find a greater adventure.

.my heart quickens.

Romans 10:13-15:

13 "For, 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.' 14 How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15 And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!'"

With these words, my heart leaps within me. I am full of longing. Yet, as much as I wait in eager anticipation, I know His timing is perfect.

And so I wait.